Line Creek Trail Engagement Session | Talina & Carlos

When Talina first contacted me about engagement photos, she mentioned right away that she was interested in having them taken at Line Creek Trail - a place I had not shot at before. So, as per usual I visited this trail ahead of time to scope it out! The day I visited was very, very chilly, and the creek itself was frozen solid! All I could think about was how cool a frozen creek would look in their images!! A week and a half later, after temperatures had steadily gone up, I left for their session thinking oh well, I'm sure the creek is flowing freely again, - only to be surprised and elated upon arrival - seeing that for the most part, it was still frozen! YAY!

The trees along this trail allowed for some amazing back-lit action, and I may or may not be obsessed with back-lit images ;) We had a fantastic time playing around the creek and along the trails, snapping photos all the way! Carlos isn't much for photos himself, but I find few guys who truly are.. So to improvise and bring out those pearly whites, I made up a 3-word song on the spot called slow motion love...Don't ask.......The things I do for photography! ;)

Talina & Carlos - Thank you guys for braving the chill and for laughing with me during my silly song... not at me. It was with me, right?! You guys are going to take Vegas by storm for your wedding! Wishing you guys all the best!

 

Check out more ELP engagement sessions!

the rough side of the wait

I've heard it said that the true definition of PATIENCE is - "Not the ability to wait, but how you deal with the wait." - This definition makes me crazy. Patience is something I greatly lack. For as far back as I can remember in my life, I've been impatient for WHAT'S NEXT. WHAT'S COMING. WHAT ISN'T HERE YET.

Building a business from the ground up is hard, hard work. Is it worth it? Oh absolutely. Will I be beyond thrilled later down the road, when I can look back to now and know, that all this time and hard work took me to the place of being a full time wedding photographer, who daily lives out her dream? Oh heck yes. Will the days in between now and then, that rough side of the wait from Point A to Point B make me absolutely crazy? Yeah. It just might.

I really find myself from time to time in a struggle with the fact that I am not "there" RIGHT NOW. I struggle greatly with feeling as if I'm wasting time by not being "there" NOW. It truly took me so long to even get to where I am currently, and knowing that I must continue to wait to be in the place of that ultimate goal - it's maddening.

Jeanette Winterson said it best - "Some days we could tight-rope across Manhattan, and other days we are too weary to clean our teeth."

These words circle me in truth. Some days I am wildly determined. Full of abundant faith that I WILL DO THIS. The waiting game is an afterthought and I am hardcore focused on the future. I feel simply unstoppable. I sprint toward that goal line. My mental mantra is "I'm coming up fast!"

Other days, I lethargically drift in a sea of negativity. I doubt myself, I even doubt my dreams. I give too much energy to the numbing feeling of having to wait. Impatience consumes me and I struggle to even get through the day because on that particular day, I can't deal with the fact that I'm not doing exactly what I want to do with my life right at that very second.

Some moments I am so busy with this dream-building. My calendar is full of meetings, photo sessions, timelines, weddings, editing, blogging, to-do lists and more. I spend a morning over coffee with a bride who is giving me the honor of capturing her big day, and my elation is tangible. I spend a Saturday evening photographing a so-in-love couple and know that the images I'm getting are truly "them" in the very best way. My excitement looks a little something like.....APWOAWIOFJ;AOFO;AWHF!!!AWDOF;ASDFI2394UWASDJF;LJ!!!!.

Other moments.. I refresh my email a million times an hour. I dwell on my calendar not being "full enough". I ask myself repeatedly, in every way possible - When? When will I get there?

Just recently my wonderful mother-in-law saw me shortly after I returned home from a great photo-meeting, and she said to me "I love that you're doing this. You are just so in your element with all of this, and it is so great to see." And what did I do? I cried like an idiot. This journey, this dream... It makes me emotional because this is it for me. It's everything I want to do, everything I want to be. No other career path on the planet brings me this type of joy.

So what it comes down to is that THE WAIT is rough for me. A big dreamer with just a sprinkle of patience is a tricky combination. I'm somewhere between Point A and Point B right now, and I just have to keep on keeping on. Use up every speck of patience I can dig out.

All of this rambling is meant to coach myself, to try and use a blank screen and the sound of rapid typing to ease my mind. But maybe someone reading this can relate, maybe they are in the same boat and perhaps reading this will help them in some way. I suppose at some point we're all there, here, - just riding out the wait. 
 

Loose Park Celebration Session | Hollie & Saad - Expecting!

I've been fortunate to have known Hollie for a few years now, old cubicle buddies we were. She's one of those people who just always make you laugh, no matter what. Full of quick wit and hilarious comments. She also has one of the best laughs I've ever heard in my life, which just makes her personality even better!

I remember the day she told me she had met this guy named Saad. And I remember hearing about their dates :) Then a few years ago, I was there among family and friends when she and Saad spoke their promises, and pledged their love. Flash forward to now and these two awesome people have a Baby Boy on the way, and he's coming oh so soon!

For their celebration session, we chose a favorite of mine, Loose Park. And as always, it didn't disappoint! 

Hollie & Saad - You guys are going to be terrific parents! I can't wait to meet Haroon!

 

Wild | book nook

One of my absolute favorite things in this world is the kindness of strangers. When someone offers you a warm smile, a cheerful hello, a random act of kindness - big or small. When I smile at a stranger and get a smile in return, it genuinely makes my heart happy!

The story of Cheryl Strayed and her hike across the Pacific Crest Trail takes the simplicity of a kind stranger to a whole other level. Throughout the pages, those she meets, the relationships she builds, even though most are temporary, - it was really touching.

Cheryl's story is one I feel we all face at some point in our lives - trying to find who you are. Hiking for over a thousand miles is one way to do it. Her story was raw and real. This woman strikes me as one of few on this earth who dig deep into life instead of barely scratching the surface. And it is for that fact, I have a lot of respect for her.

This book rang true for what it's all about, in my opinion. Finding yourself and your way in this great big old world. Being true to yourself. Finding peace with what is, and what never will be. Searching for what truly matters, and holding on tight once discovery is made. And above all else, - fiercely living.

Absolutely recommend this book. Do yourself a favor and read the book instead of only watching the movie. Though the movie was good, I feel it can't compare to the details the book really explains!

My favorite quote from within the pages -
"There's no way to know what makes one thing happen and not another. What leads to what. What destroys what. What causes what to flourish or die or take another course."

4.5 STARS
 

2014 | A Year in Review

The first year of this business comes to a close and above all else, I am grateful. In the beginning of this adventure my emotions ranged from excitement to nervousness, joy to fear. Feelings of "Finally!" to "Oh my gosh what have I done?"

The best part of all is that year one far exceeded the expectations I had buried deep in my mind. Just opening this business was a success to me. I knew it would take time to "get off the ground", so my expectations might have been a little on the low side. I didn't realize how quickly things would happen. I feel extremely fortunate for how it all shook out. This whole year, I was pushed beyond my comfort zone and really had to dive into the deep-end without my arm floaties. Scary as that is, it has been well worth it.

Aside from all of the lifestyle portrait sessions I did this past year, which definitely bring me their own type of joy! It is no secret, wedding photography is the direction I want to go in. I booked a total of 10 weddings this year, two of which have come and gone - and were absolutely wonderful. Eight of which I still get to look forward to in 2015!! I am on cloud nine knowing that fact. Remember when I said my expectations were a little on the low side? I definitely didn't think I would book 10 weddings this quick. To some, that number is maybe low, maybe laughable; to others, they will completely understand my happiness with it. That second group, who truly get it - you are my people. 

I drove away from several sessions this year in tears. And I wasn't crying because I was questioning if I had nailed my exposure, or if I had done "good enough" - though there were moments when those thoughts crept in. I cried because this was it. I was doing it. Photography has been what I've wanted to do for years and to finally be doing so is a feeling of elation I can't quite describe. 

So, as 2014 comes to an end, it seems only fitting to share some personal thoughts about this year! 

---- The Clients ----
Within this first year I found myself at many family and engagement sessions, and at two weddings. Making friends and building relationships with strangers I wouldn't get the chance to meet otherwise. I was given the trust to capture one of the most important days of people's lives for those two incredible couples. Sharing that special day with them, their friends and families, - it was both humbling and rewarding. I have been oh so blessed by amazing clients. You guys have made me feel like a rock star, and I thank you times a million fafillion.

---- The Balance ----
Working a full time day job while doing the dance of a balancing act with ELP and my personal life was, and is, exactly that - a balancing act. During busy months this year of averaging 65-75 hour work weeks of day job + photography, I definitely teetered on the fine line of insanity. I might have put one foot over the line once, just to see how crazy felt. But of course it was all worth it, and I made it happen. It isn't ideal, but is my current state, and I'll take it for what it is worth!

---- The Cost ----
Everything I earned this year was turned right back around and put into ELP. I know some thought I was nuts, and probably still do - Why spend everything you're earning? Well, I decided early on that I didn't want to start things off being belly-up in debt. Is it easy to wait? Heck no. I'd love to buy it all right now. One big gigantic brown box on my doorstep please! But, I personally think it is more wise to earn that coveted gear, piece by piece, by saving all my pretty pennies first, and paying cash. I created a list of gear that is in order of importance - the importance being which lens will further help my photography improve. Which lens will help me to further define my style. As much as I wish I had it all now, that list still exists. So 2015 will continue with the same game plan!

----The Lessons ----
I could rattle on for ages about what I learned from each and every session and event this year. I tried to take away multiple lessons after each one. On my drive home, I asked myself every single time, "What did I do right?" - "What did I do wrong?" - "What could I have done better?" Over and over. I made checklists from these conversations I had with myself in my phone, in tons of Word documents, and in my mind. I've told myself if I can learn a few things after every shoot I have, then I'm growing and becoming a better photographer. 

On a lighter note, I learned the hard way that I seriously need to pump some iron... Holding my camera at a wedding for 5, 6, 7+ hours is quite strenuous on my wimpy arms.. So in 2015, I think I need to work on that!!

---- The Embarrassing Moments ----
I've had some embarrassing moments this year, what's 365 days without that though...Am I right?! So for giggles, let's recap those. 

I managed to get myself and my clients parking tickets on one particular engagement shoot. That was a great day. And that park patrol guy was a gigantic turd.

That same e-shoot was the scene of probably the most awkward moment ever. Luckily it has nothing to do with my clients or myself, but still, so painful. Basically we witnessed a lady crash her bicycle into her husband's bike while going downhill...fall sideways and flip upside down into a ditch. It was like a slow motion train wreck. The good news is that she was okay, we helped her up and dusted her off. But talk about a way to kill the mood of a happy engagement session! Yeesh!

I once forgot I had unsnapped the cross-body strap of my bag. You can probably see where this is going. At the end of a wonderful engagement session, I grabbed my bag, hoisted it into a full sling-over-the-head-technique, and....across the floor it went. Not my best moment.

I'm a short girl. It isn't great. Mostly I don't mind until it matters, and when it matters it unfortunately really matters. Pretty much all my clients this year were taller than me. I made it work where I could, you know, I'm just going to stand on this here rock, folks! Sometimes I carry a little step ladder along and this is where the embarrassment comes into play. More times than I'd like to count, I came a little too close to totally biting it right off that ladder. I feel it is my fate. One of these days, I'll go sailing right off of that thing.

Speaking of accidents. I've convinced myself that not a single client witnessed any of the following. I'm certain that a magic curtain came up and shielded me from their sight. Saving me from death by embarrassment. Such as.... Walking backwards off of a curb I didn't know was there. Trying to run up a slight hill, losing my balance and completely going down on my hands and knees. Walking into not one, not two, but five tree limbs. I have skills!!

--- The Future! ----
Excitement overload best describes how I feel about 2015. I am pumped to see what all it will bring for ELP, and I'm eager to learn more, grow more, and become more!

I'm also looking forward to hopefully continuing this post, year after year. Sharing how the year was for me, behind the scenes. It seems only right that I end with a photo that I took...approximately 10 years ago. When I was shooting with an old school 35mm, Canon Rebel G. Spending lots of time in dark rooms, staining my clothes with film chemicals and creating what I thought, was awesome art.

I was just a girl with a camera and a dream! Not much has changed :)